How many times did you fika down-town Nairobi then
somewhere you saw a large crowd of excited jamaas. As we
all know how curious Kenyans are, you rush to the scene and
elbow people to make your way to the center only to realise that
people are crowding around a couple of Kenya post and
telecommunication fellas replacing a cable!! what a bummer.
You continue walking mpaka you fika sides of the junction
Uhuru Highway and Moi avenue.
This is one place that makes you believe the people who say
that In Nairobi, millions of different things happen at the same
time. You look ahead at the tall glass building ( Anniversary
towers) and you see like 20 people standing around there
using the glass walls/windows as mirrors to straighten up their
clothes before they get to work. On the road just before the
round about, there are two jamaas running up and down
selling newspapers. One in a red coat (East African Standard)
and one in a blue coat( Of Course Nation). You also see a
jamaa wearing savco jeans and moccassins with a bundle of
magazines. Don't shangaa, this is the jamaa who sells akina
Time magazine and "the economist" to the motorists willing to
spare 50 bucks even though the magazines are close to 6
months old. Out of the corner of your eye you spy two jamaas
who seem to be just staring at the traffic jam. You are quick to
notice the tools in their hand then conclude that they are the
jamaas waiting for a vehicle to break down then dash for some
money. This is kinda alot of stuff happening around this area
lakini there's more to it.
You look behind you and see an unruly mob of university
students being adressed by a student leader at the U of
Nairobi grounds. Your attention being drawn sideways, you
see a lorry full of noisy and clearly frustrated hawkers arriving at
Central police station. Of course they'd been arrested for
hawking. Nearby jamaas are waiting to scramble into the bus #
23 which is arriving at the bus stop. The bus approaches the
stage and is soo full mpaka it's leaning on one side lakini
there are like 100 guys waiting for the bus. On one-side of the
bus-stop, there is a shoe-shiner doing his job, on the other
side, two high school kids are making out. Behind the
bus-stop, a ragged looking fellow is taking a short-call and you
can see a trail of urine snaking its way along the dirt right by the
jamaa selling patco sweets and sigaras. You watch a fellow
step into the urine puddle, then after a few yards he
subconsciously lifts his shoe to knock off something that
seems stuck to his sole, the wipes his hand on his butt, and
proceeds to picks his teeth with his bare fingers. You shake
your head in disgust and turn your head away only to see
something even more gross. You apparently just stared into
the behind of a ka lady squatting and helping herself behind a
bush. You can tell that this bush is a favorite spot because all
the leaves are yellow from overdose of ammonia probably
laced with remnants of alcohol, and all other things the
average mwananchi consumes. The funny thing is that on the
other side of the bush, there's a dog squatting , also helping
itself. You laugh at the similarity between some human and
animal behaviours when you hear....Bang!!!!!!!! everyone stukas
and turns towards uhuru park! A large cloud of smoke quickly
blankets the surrounding area as you join a crowd of fellas
running in the same direction. Woi Woi, freemark is on fire!!!! it
can't be true!! you see fellows sprinting up and down that ka hill
of uhuru park. Some are running to loot and others are running
away. As you get near, the area you see tons of nude chokoras
sprinting away from the area. Apparently they had been bathing
in the mtaro(drain) that runs by freemark and the heatwave
from the fire had instantly heated up the sewage in the ditch
thus burning the unsuspecting bathing urchins. You watch
them scattering around at the same time vocally excreating
coherent venacular which the average mwananchi wouldn't
understand except for a few of us.. hint hint! something like, "
woooi woooi kismat mbaya beste hio maji imeiva mbaya
deadly jo! hebu jikate masaa kabla u kinai fasta fasta! You look
at them like, yeah yeah whatever, then continue running
towards the scene. You pause momentarily and see some
mungiki jamaas who were having worship at uhuru park
fleeing like there's no kesho. The gowns and turbans are flying
everywhere. You are just hearing chants of, " wooiii wooiii nii
goma!! nii goma!! goma ishi!" For real you begin to think you
are drunk or something!. Yanni its how jamaas are ongearing
languages you can't understand? . Whacha the mungiki
fellows, that neatly clad fellow who used to make his daily
bread by speaking in tongues to idlers( who believe he's a
prophet), then asking for some coins wraps up the sadaka in a
gazetti and flees before the looters get to him.Now you're
around freemark. You advance from behind near kenya
railways club when you hear old ladies shouting!, " Haiya!! Moi
ametokea wapi??? Moi!! Moi!! , others are like, " Wee Moi niikii
urenda haha? you are like , " ati moi ako wapi?" luckily you are
in time to see Moi sprinting towards a mercedes parked in the
Kenya railways parking lot. The fire caught him off guard while
shopping for a pair of roebeck sneakers ( imitation of
Reebook). You shangaa the way the old man can run. The
jamaa hepas with the sneakers in one hand, and his fimbo in
the other hand. At that time he has hemad mpaka all his teeth
are exposed ( when I say all I mean the three ama sijui four
teeth he has). You sprint towards his car
then.............................................. ...........................................to be
continued |
