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Kenyan Issues

Kenyan Apartments/flats

You fika home late at night after a busy day of work and climb the steps to your third floor apartment. You walk along the corridor stepping in puddles of maji, rugs, shoes etc before getting to your door. Once you are there, you unlock the 2 metal doors before getting to the real door. Once in, you walk to your room and jump on your bed before hearing??mp??mp..thump. You curse out loudly and sema.. kwani hawa watu hawaishangi manyege?? referring to the couple upstairs who seem to be the source of the noise. They are always at it in their room and have caused you numerous sleepless nights. You walk out of the room and go to your balcony. You do your regular udaku by chunguliaring everything around. You look to your left and you see the high school boy who?our neighbor?on fondling the mboch (maid). They quickly disperse into the house upon seeing you. You look to your right but can?ee anything because these neighbors have hand almost all the fabrics from the house on the balcony. This leads me to point out this observation.
Kenya has many beautiful apartments lakini they have been customized mpaka you wonder how a human lives there. If you stand 50 metres away from a typical Kenyan flat you won?elieve your eyes. Half of the complex will be covered by things hung on the balcony, or railings. You will see blankets, clothes, underwear, don?e surprised to see a mattress. Matresses are hung outside mostly if someone urinated on it the day before. Ha ha (it is the truth!!). You will also see aerials hung all over, flowers hanging out of windows etc. Wacha we move on to living things now. You will definitely see these three people; a mboch/mboches on the verandahs combing their hair, hanging clothes on the railing, or singing favorite hymns. The second group you will most definitely see are kids. There will be kids playing kati, bladder , chobo ngoto etc all on the corridors of the flats. Last but not least, you will definitely see some kukus tied to the railings! Yes!! Out of a whole apartment building, there will definitely be some kukus tied somewhere and some mahindi seeds on the floor. Mind you, people live here!!
Lets cut everything short!!!! The typical Kenyan apartment complex is very beautiful. After you alight from the bus, you?walk two blocks, make a left, then you?pass a string of kiosks then you?see the beauty;
A building half-covered by various items hanging from its balconies and verandas. The building will be beautifully draped with sheets, blankets, shirts, dresses, underwear and bras, flowers, aerials, mattresses, telephone wires, drainage poles. Animation comes into place when you see the mboches on the verandas, the group of teenies chewing veve on the balcony, the msichana being shukwad hairpiece by her sister on another verandah. A group of wazees feeding on another verandah. A mum hanging clothes on the railing, post office guys repairing telephone lines, children playing kati, bladder, banos, chobo ngoto, chobo ua on the corridors, Kukus tied to the railings, pakas basking, shoes, slippers, and sandaks all over the corridors, you might even be fortunate to see a mbuzi tied to a telephone post and eating nyasi by the building. You will definitely see an old lady with a kid on her back, one in her arms, and close to three pulling her dress from all sides. While you are staring at this work of art, make sure you don?rip over a stray dog breastfeeding its litter of approximately 12 puppies because you are sure to get a bite on the leg if you don?un as fast as you can??ot forgetting that it? mistake to run in an estate especially if you have luggage because you might bump into a lady who might freak out then shout??wizi!! then??lahh..blahhhhh you know how the story goes!!!

Maneno ya ukweli

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